The Patient Is Not Always Right

Doctor Google didn't go to med school, I think
But her consultations drive mere (mortal) doctors to the brink.
I often wonder whether I was a fool
To spend time and effort in med school.
For all my patients know what them ails
And get rather annoyed when I fail
To tell them what they want to hear
And refuse with their opinion to concur
I've been extremely lucky so far , to be fair
That patient satisfaction does not have to dictate my quality of care
I know an educated lady who thinks that her anaphylactic shock
Was caused because something in her food went amok.
And therefore refuses to search for the allergen
And will be shocked (pun intended) one day without an EpiPen.
Or the patients who want to dictate their regimens
And ascribe all (hitherto unheard of) adverse effects to Imipenem.
As a wise man, once most aptly said
For God and doctors patients only care
When the disease has given them a fright
Once this passes, God is forgotten and the doctors they slight.

Liff As I Know It!

Who am I?

The question an Indian never wants to hear
"Do you remember me, my dear?
I last saw you when you were 2 feet high
You sure have grown tall, my, oh my".

And if, you try your best to fake it
Don't be under the illusion that you will make it.
For the devil (or is it God) is in the details, y'know
And the ordeal gets dragged out for half an hour more.

You will be asked to recite the relationship
And over those details, you will definitely trip
For if you climb up one family tree, you will clamber down the other
Probably find out that they're your parent's sister-in-law's husband's grandmother

For crying out loud, that was ages ago
Back in the days of Barbies and Lego
I have barely any memories of my parents from then
So you, infrequently seen relatives, are beyond my ken.

But instead of saying that, you mechanically nod
And flash a fake smile while you trace the family bond
Till a couple of decades later, you will, to your horror, hear
Yourself saying  "Do you remember me, my dear?"

Liff As I Know It!